I wrote a huge post and it ended up being me bitching about my husband. I deleted it in case he might find it somehow. I am so uncomfortable telling my husband how I really feel about things that I refrain from even the slight possiblity that he might find a blog that I never gave a link to. Yeah, that's normal. I don't have issues.
I have to say that post turned out pretty funny. I saved it on my computer so I am sure I am the only one who will read it. And it ended up making me laugh instead of being pissed, so it served its purpose. If you talk to me some day, ask me if I like crackers.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Thursday, June 12, 2008
You can't count on anyone
Last summer, Trevor was still a little bit shy to play with kids from the neighborhood, and Brendan is an indoor kid. So I didn't have to deal with too many issues with playing at friends' houses. This summer is different. Trevor has socially blossomed this year in kindergarten, and now wants to play every day with kids from the street. This would be fine, if we had different neighbors. The people across the streeet have a boy Trevor's age and a trampoline. Of course, all the kids want to hang out there. Unforunately, I have never seen this boy's mom outside. I mean *ever*. His dad is outside occassionally, but they don't seem to supervise the kids. So when Brendan or Trevor is over there, I am constantly going outside or looking out the window to check on them. Several weeks ago, I heard someone crying and saw Trevor coming across the street with ice bag on his head. He was being led by a teenage girl neighbor, not the trampoline mom. Where the hell was she? If I could hear Trevor crying from across the street, what was she doing that she didn't hear him, or help him? That just freaked me out. Trevor had a *huge* goose-egg on his head. I contemplated taking him to the emergency room. Bur Darron wasn't home, and I wasn't sure. I called my mom for medical advice and she said if it was on the forehead and he seemed normal in every other way, he was probably fine and to just keep an eye on him. The next morning, the swelling was down and he looked OK. Darron had come home late and never saw how bad it really was. So I kept Trevor away from the neighbor's house for a few days but when his bump went away, I let him go back across the street on one condition. If any bigger kids or more than 3 kids were on the trampoline, he had to get off. I attributed the problem to too many (bigger) kids jumping. And obviously, I had to watch closely since the trampoline mom was not watching the kids in her yard.
Fast forward to last Sunday. The kids had been playing on and off with the nieghbors that day, and asked to jump on the trampoline again. I let them go, and the dad was outside so I was talking to him for a bit. Suddenly I heard a scream. Brendan came running over with blood dripping down his arm. "He bit me!" he cried, and pointed to the neighbor's dog. I ran him home, washed his hand and it kept bleeding, the gash was pretty wide. Darron was incensed. He was cursing out the neighbor for his dog, and me for not having mental telepathy to know Brendan was going to get bit. He ordered me to take him to the hospital, which I did. It was traumatic for both of us. Brendan ended up with 2 stitches and worst of all, had to miss 3 baseball games. :(
So now of course, Darron forbids the kids from going to the nieghbors house at all. But I have to deal with the fallout. Trevor sees the other kids bouncing away over there and wants to play too, but I can't let him. The other night he was crying and said,"I'm going to my room to think about how much I hate you!" Nice. How am I going to deal with this for the rest of the summer? It's only June 12th. No, we can't move, and I don't think they're moving either.
This is really difficult for me, I don't know what to say to the neighbors. I don't know what to say to my kids. Why can't we live by normal people who take care of their kids and pets and have some responsibility towards others? These are not the only annoying neighbors we have, but that's a whole 'nother blog post....
Fast forward to last Sunday. The kids had been playing on and off with the nieghbors that day, and asked to jump on the trampoline again. I let them go, and the dad was outside so I was talking to him for a bit. Suddenly I heard a scream. Brendan came running over with blood dripping down his arm. "He bit me!" he cried, and pointed to the neighbor's dog. I ran him home, washed his hand and it kept bleeding, the gash was pretty wide. Darron was incensed. He was cursing out the neighbor for his dog, and me for not having mental telepathy to know Brendan was going to get bit. He ordered me to take him to the hospital, which I did. It was traumatic for both of us. Brendan ended up with 2 stitches and worst of all, had to miss 3 baseball games. :(
So now of course, Darron forbids the kids from going to the nieghbors house at all. But I have to deal with the fallout. Trevor sees the other kids bouncing away over there and wants to play too, but I can't let him. The other night he was crying and said,"I'm going to my room to think about how much I hate you!" Nice. How am I going to deal with this for the rest of the summer? It's only June 12th. No, we can't move, and I don't think they're moving either.
This is really difficult for me, I don't know what to say to the neighbors. I don't know what to say to my kids. Why can't we live by normal people who take care of their kids and pets and have some responsibility towards others? These are not the only annoying neighbors we have, but that's a whole 'nother blog post....
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Things that bug me
Since everyone in the universe has a blog, I figured I should have one too. But I never felt I had anything clever or insightful enough to publish. Especially in comparison to all the wonderful writers who are out there blogging, who make me laugh and cry and feel like I know them. I really don't have any witty stories about how my husband and I argue. And my kids are cute, and occassionally funny, but not blog-worth enough to fill up a daily page. But I finally hit on an idea that I think I can write about every day. Things that bug me! Who doesn't have daily annoyances and things to bitch about? I know I do. There are things that keep me up at night that I really should get out of my system so I can get some sleep for once.
The thing that was bugging me this week was the cover of my "Working Mother" magazine. There's alway a skinny, fashionably dressed corporate mom on the cover of the magazine with her adorable, perfect child. And inside the mag, there is an article about "How she does it!" How does she look so fabulous climbing the corporate ladder? How does she have such cute, brilliant children? You get the idea. It's supposed to be inspirational to us garden-variety working moms who dress in JC Penney pants and whose kids are picking their nose and fighting at the moment. I understand that. But the thing that bugged me was that the last few cover moms are not married. They casually mention in the article that they're divorced or never married like it's not a big deal. To me it is! Are they saying you can't really have it all? You can't expect to work, have kids and have a happy marriage? I hope not, that is the wrong message to send! I know the magazine has to appeal to all demographics and probably a lot of working moms are single. But to me, that is not a role model or a person to aspire to be. Someone that chose a husband poorly or can't keep a marriage together is not a person I want to be like.
I truly believe having a stable home and happy marriage is the best thing you can do for your child. If other things happen in your life that you can't control, at least you have tried your best to give your child a solid foundation in life. Most of the time, I feel I can juggle the demands of work and the kids. But making quality time for my husband is challenge. Quality time is important, not just end of the night, "I'm exhausted" time. We talk and email during the day and meet for lunch when we can. We chat at home and do family activities together of course. We ask his mom and/or a babysitter to watch the kids so I can get out with him. And when we have a disagreement, we work it out like adults. It's taken a while to get to this point, but it feels great to have a partner who loves me and respects me. I feel it's a great badge of honor to be married almost 11 years and to honestly say our marriage has gotten better every year.
I do have friends going through divorce now and even the best divorces are sad and hard on the kids. I want people to realize and acknowledge that marriage can be for life and although there are challenges, the rewards are great. Marriage is supposed to be a lifetime committment and both people should act that way, especially once you bring kids into the picture. So "Working Mother" magazine, if you want a slightly overweight, frazzled mom on your cover next month who really is trying to "do it all," including having a happy marriage, please give me a call.
The thing that was bugging me this week was the cover of my "Working Mother" magazine. There's alway a skinny, fashionably dressed corporate mom on the cover of the magazine with her adorable, perfect child. And inside the mag, there is an article about "How she does it!" How does she look so fabulous climbing the corporate ladder? How does she have such cute, brilliant children? You get the idea. It's supposed to be inspirational to us garden-variety working moms who dress in JC Penney pants and whose kids are picking their nose and fighting at the moment. I understand that. But the thing that bugged me was that the last few cover moms are not married. They casually mention in the article that they're divorced or never married like it's not a big deal. To me it is! Are they saying you can't really have it all? You can't expect to work, have kids and have a happy marriage? I hope not, that is the wrong message to send! I know the magazine has to appeal to all demographics and probably a lot of working moms are single. But to me, that is not a role model or a person to aspire to be. Someone that chose a husband poorly or can't keep a marriage together is not a person I want to be like.
I truly believe having a stable home and happy marriage is the best thing you can do for your child. If other things happen in your life that you can't control, at least you have tried your best to give your child a solid foundation in life. Most of the time, I feel I can juggle the demands of work and the kids. But making quality time for my husband is challenge. Quality time is important, not just end of the night, "I'm exhausted" time. We talk and email during the day and meet for lunch when we can. We chat at home and do family activities together of course. We ask his mom and/or a babysitter to watch the kids so I can get out with him. And when we have a disagreement, we work it out like adults. It's taken a while to get to this point, but it feels great to have a partner who loves me and respects me. I feel it's a great badge of honor to be married almost 11 years and to honestly say our marriage has gotten better every year.
I do have friends going through divorce now and even the best divorces are sad and hard on the kids. I want people to realize and acknowledge that marriage can be for life and although there are challenges, the rewards are great. Marriage is supposed to be a lifetime committment and both people should act that way, especially once you bring kids into the picture. So "Working Mother" magazine, if you want a slightly overweight, frazzled mom on your cover next month who really is trying to "do it all," including having a happy marriage, please give me a call.
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